For me, self-love isn’t constant. It comes and goes in waves. One day I can love every part of my body and the next I can loathe each part.
I Spent Most of my Life Hating Myself…
And let me tell you, it was no way of living! Honestly, ever since I can remember I haven’t been happy, to say the least, with my appearance. Back when I was in school it was much less socially acceptable to be plus size. People who were bigger were always targeted for being… bigger. For the majority of my younger life, right up till recently, I compared myself to other people.
It Started Small.
One day I just decided that I can be enough, I didn’t mean for other people. I meant for myself. Once you stop caring what other people think about you, harder than it seems, it’s kind of easier from there. I wasn’t constantly thinking if I was a bit slimmer some guy would want me or I would be less of an embarrassment. I just wanted to focus on how I felt about myself, not how anyone else felt.
Every day I would see something about myself I kind of liked. I made it a habit to compliment myself. I would fully hype myself up in the mirror in my underwear every morning. Even if I didn’t really mean it and I was feeling a little self-conscious that day. The more you tell yourself you look good, the more you believe it.
I’m not Staying Like This Forever.
Yes, I’m SO aware of the health risks of being plus size… SO AWARE. I want so badly to lose weight and become healthier. I’ve been losing weight, slowly and steadily for the last year and I plan to continue until I’m at a great weight and feel amazing. Read what I want to work on this year here!
What some people struggle to understand is, even though you want to change you can still love yourself right now. I believed that for a long time too. If you’re on a journey, changing your body, you can love yourself every step of the way.
Mantra: I DESERVE TO LOVE MYSELF.
Grab a Notebook!
Homework?! Ew. I know… if you want to start loving your body you have to do something about it, shock! Here’s the deal. You need to get the sad stuff out the way. Grab a notebook, write down everything about your body you’re unhappy with. There are no right or wrong answers, there’s no limit to how much you should put down. You could have one, you could have fifty. I personally had 11.
The aim is to work on these one by one. Each day, focus on a different point on your list.
You don’t like your boobs? Ok… look at yourself topless for 5 minutes for the next 3 days. Don’t just stare, hold them, get a good look from every angle, get up close and personal. You are a woman, you were given breasts for a reason and they are beautiful regardless of their size.
Your weight is bothering you? No problem, we can’t fix it overnight so what’s the point in worrying about it so much? Put some underwear on, whatever you want, go and have a look in the mirror. Hold yourself, stroke yourself, look at every scar, every stretch mark, every area you’re particularly conscious about. This is your body and it’s beautiful. This incredible creation. It doesn’t matter if you want to lose or gain weight, you’re allowed to love your body the way it is NOW.
It’s a Commitment.
It really is. You have to commit to changing the way you think. It’s so worth it though. You have to practise but after a while it becomes natural. One of the best things you can do is find people who inspire you to love yourself. A huge, HUGE help for me has been following Gabriella Lasanco on Instagram. The way this woman loves herself is so motivational for me.
It’s Definitely OK to have Down Days.
Even the most confident people in the world have days where they’re not feeling themselves. It’s absolutely normal and definitely OK to not feel body confident every day. I certainly don’t and don’t know anyone who does. When it comes to self-love, you’re your own worst enemy and your own best friend at the same time. We see things in ourselves that no-one else does, we detect every little flaw we possibly could.
Let’s make 2018 the year of self-love and self-appreciation!