Being there for someone with depression. | Please remember…

With depression, when things get bad they get really bad.

I know that being a relative or a friend of someone with depression is extremely hard sometimes. Not only because you may have no previous experience in dealing with mental health but because you will probably never understand what is going on in our minds, especially when we are really low.

Even though it is tough, we need you. Going through severe depression alone is next to impossible. On the days where I cannot physically get out of bed, walk to the toilet, go and make food, the days when all I can physically do is cry but cannot speak a word because I am so drained… I need someone there, just like everyone else going through the same thing.

Dealing with someone who is depressed can be confusing and frustrating, mental illness doesn’t come with a user guide so, of course, no one is expected to know all there is to know about it but there are certain ways you can help someone on the road to recovery;

Please remember that even though we may not speak to you, ask for you or acknowledge you, we appreciate the fact you are there.

Please remember that we are sensitive, we will take most things you say personally. We don’t mean to be like this, it is something we are working on.

Please remember that as we go through therapy we are just as confused as you are about everything, remember this is a time where we are trying to retrain our brain to work completely differently and it’s extremely difficult.

Please remember that if we don’t get out of bed today it isn’t because we don’t want to, it is because we can’t.

Please remember that we doubt ourselves in every way possible and really need someone to believe in us.

Please remember that some days we may be ok but that doesn’t mean we’re cured.

Please remember there is no quick fix to this, it is something we have to work through as long as it takes.

Please remember that if we are walking & walking extremely slowly, it isn’t because we are lazy or want to annoy you, our bodies will not allow us to go at a normal pace.

Please remember it is hard for us to concentrate for a long period of time therefore work and school become extremely difficult.

Please remember that if we have to spend a lot of time at the hospital or doctors, although we have their help, we still need you to be there for us.

Please remember that we desperately want to get better.

Please remember that we need encouragement and to be reminded we can get through it.

Please remember not to talk down to us. Just because sometimes it may seem like we don’t understand a lot… we do. We have an illness, we aren’t stupid.

Please remember that my illness is not a joke.

Please remember this isn’t something to be desired.

And lastly

Please remember that we are human beings, we are people. We are exactly like you, we just need a little extra time & work.


Always remember to be kind, compassionate and caring towards one and other. Words can hurt and I think that is often forgotten.



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