1 stone down, my weight loss so far | Struggles, feeling disheartened and comparing myself to others.

Hello wonderful people,

I just have a quick update on my weight loss for you all.

It’s no secret that I am really struggling to lose weight. Along with not getting the balance between diet and exercise right I’m also tackling physical illness that makes exercising and eating certain things a lot harder than it is for other people.

I’ve had a really difficult few months. I’ve been watching people in my life, on social media and everywhere else, lose weight just by cutting the crap out their diet and doing ‘light’ exercise. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in about 2 years, not a fizzy drink in a year and a half, not consumed a takeaway in months. I cut meat out of my diet and then had to slowly introduce chicken back into it, I basically live off of fresh fruit and vegetables, I barely touch dairy… I could list it all but you get the drift. Other people do all this and drop a stone in a month, I’ve been working my butt off for about 4 months with exercise and I’ve only JUST lost my first stone.

I’m not sure of the scientific reason for why I find it so difficult to lose weight or if there even is one. I’ve always struggled with my weight loss, even on the Cambridge diet when everyone lost 5-8lbs in their first week I only lost 1… For obvious reasons I’m feeling a bit down.

In September I’m seeing a consultant again about my illness and the only option we have left is surgery really. Last year when he sent me away he said that I needed to lose weight, which I already knew, then I would have a better chance of being considered for surgery. One day I’ll do a whole post on my illness and what is actually wrong with me but, for now, just know that I struggle with stomach problems and severe reflux. The fact I’m only 1 stone down almost a year on from seeing him is giving me some real anxiety. I’m so scared they’re just going to send me away again for another year while I still feel ill every day and struggle to get on with every day life, let alone a full blown exercise routine and strict diet. I see a dietitian regularly at the hospital and she’s always happy with what I’m eating. My diet is my main focus because, as you’ll know if you’ve ever tried to lose weight with help from a consultant/gp/health worker, you’re constantly told weight loss is 80% diet 20% exercise.

As for my exercise I’m burning between 400-500 calories 6 days a week and always getting my 10,000 steps a day in. I do all cardio at the moment although I am unable to run for a long time due to my reflux, which is so frustrating. I usually consume under 1,800 calories a day.. so technically I should be losing weight faster than I am. I do feel so much fitter and so much better for exercising. I think it has really helped with my anxiety and definitely my depression but has done the opposite for my poorly stomach, it is making it feel much worse.

I’ve never been as down about my weight as I am right now. I haven’t ever had a problem with the way I look, I’ve always been a pretty confident girl. It’s a completely different story now. I hate the way I look in everything, the shape my face is in photos, I hate the way my arms look when I’m not wearing sleeves.. Getting dressed and leaving the house in something I feel comfortable in isn’t something I’ve experienced in a long time.

My drive to lose weight is my health, of course. I want to be health and feel better, I want my consultant to turn around to me and say I’ve done enough to prove I’m controlling my diet and doing my exercise and that he’ll help me further with my problems. Although for the past year my health as been at the top of my thoughts, more recently it’s been my appearance. There is no reason I can’t want the weight loss for both reasons, it’s just saddening to realise how much I’ve become obsessed with the way I look in clothes and how uncomfortable I feel.

I’m pretty good at staying positive, I always find a way in the end and I’m sure it will be no different this time. I need to stop comparing my weight loss to other peoples and concentrate purely on myself right now. I know what I need to do, it’s just so damn difficult!

Although my progress is slow I am still proud of it. If you are on a weight loss journey please remember any progress is good progress. I know it’s frustrating when you try so hard and only drop 1lb every 2 weeks but all of our bodies work differently.

I’ll be back with another update when I lose another stone… so don’t be expecting one any time soon! As always if you have any tips, tricks, motivational words or just want to share your story with us all, comment down below or catch me over on social media!

Love ya’ll always,

keep smiling, keep pushing yourself and keep motivated x

 

2 Comments

  1. July 16, 2016 / 9:10 pm

    Keep that positive attitude!

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