Congratulations to all you guys and gals that have the ever so fashionable ‘fuck what you think’ attitude. I envy you, I really do. Unfortunately some of us aren’t as lucky as you and can’t just not care what others think.
I think about my anxiety a lot and talk to other people about theirs quite a bit, something this blog has given me is the amazing opportunity to chat to hundreds of you guys about everything and anything. Something I’ve picked up on in the last year has been the fear of embarrassing myself. Once I started mentioning this to other anxiety sufferers I got a huge response telling me they felt the same.
I think one of the main things to remember about someone with anxiety is that they just don’t want to be judged. I don’t want someone to look at my and think ‘why did she do that’, ‘she did that wrong, why is she so stupid’… I don’t want to do something silly and trip over in public and have someone laugh at me because although I’d laugh it off at the time, I’d feel overwhelmingly stupid later on. In saying this another thing to remember about people who suffer from anxiety is, it’s the little things. Little things like dropping something and everyone staring at you, having to cough in a quiet place, messing up your words while talking to someone you don’t know like a cashier. Little things screw us up.
Unlike ‘normal’ people we don’t have the wonderful ability to shake things off. I stop myself from going out and having a good time because something bad might happen. You hear a lot about that phrase if you’ve ever undergone therapy.. I never really got it because in my head I was thinking well I don’t feel like I’m going to die or hurt myself. Now I realise, it’s not ‘bad’ things, it’s literally the fear of people looking at you in a funny way or someone laughing at you. People with anxiety don’t want to be embarrassed and I don’t blame us, the way we feel afterwards would put anyone off for life.
All I can say is stay strong, stay confident. You don’t need anyone who makes you feel low, embarrassed or judges you in your life. You’ll be better off without them. I finally understand why I feel so anxious whenever I leave the house and I can finally start doing something about it.
Love Abz x
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